- When your child asks for help spelling a word, don't give it to them right away! Instead, ask "What sounds do you hear in the word? Do you hear any words you know how to spell inside that word? Where might you find that word in our house?" Encourage your child to build strategies for spelling words that don't rely on you- but rather on their own initiative and problem-solving. If they spell the word close to correctly (or even in a way that makes sense phonetically) praise their attempt. You don't even always have to correct their mistakes, which can negate the effort they put into spelling the word independently.
- That goes for any school work! If a child needs help on math, ask "What would you do first? Can you start the problem? Which part is tricky for you?" The more you ask your child to explore the roadblock s/he is encountering, the more you encourage your child to reflect on the difficulties they are facing, and find a way around it. In fact, usually this method will help students realize they CAN solve the problem on their own!
- If a student is frustrated or upset, I always ask what the problem is, and then ask the student "How could you go about solving this problem?" Asking the student to take ownership for tackling the problem instills a sense of efficacy in the student. The last thing I want to do is take over and solve the problem for them, unless teacher intervention really is necessary. Let them try two or three attempts before jumping in and suggesting your own. And always make your child do most of the work to solve.
- Wait for your child to ASK for help before you jump in. And that doesn't mean stating that they are stuck. When students TELL me "I don't know how to sign onto Scootpad" I might respond, "hmmm... that is a problem. Well, thanks for sharing that with me." I encourage students to learn that I will always help them find a solution if they ASK for it. Besides just being polite to ask, it lets students know that I will not swoop in and solve all their problems, that I expect them to (and believe they can) try to solve the problem on their own.
- Let your child be the authority on school! If you have a question about your child's classwork or assignments, ask your child first. This lets them feel a sense of responsibility for assignments or information that is communicated. If they are unsure, a probing question such as "Well, how do you normally do this?" or "What would your teacher tell you if you asked this question?" can draw out more information. Then let your child know you appreciate his or her aid in solving your problem!
- Let them fail. It's okay if your child tries a strategy that you know is doomed to fail. As the saying goes, we learn more from our mistakes. Protecting them from failure costs them valuable learning experiences-at an age where mistakes are not all that fatal. Once they fail, tell them "That was a good try," and give a few suggestions.
These are just a few tips to teach independence. Remember, you can't just expect your child to be an independent learner... but you also can't just do it all for them! Teaching independence is huge at this age, and any work you put in now will have a huge impact on their future learning!
Great Questions for Independence:
- How would you normally do this? What would you do first?
- Can you try a strategy, and then ask for help if you still need it?
- What can you do to help solve this problem on your own?
- What parts are hard? What parts are easy?
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